Do not miss
MALIBLAST 2011
CLASSIC MALIBU SMASH and HOT DOG BOIL!
STEAMED or TOASTED BUNS, the choice is YOURS!
The 2nd love of my life, my Malibu.
SMASH ME!... and fill up on HOT DOGS (All U Can EAT $5)
When: 8AM January 18th 2011 Where: ABRHS Lower Lot WHO: YOU!
Weapons and sporting equipment will be provided.
ENTER TO WIN!!!! $5 per ticket for a chance to be the one to light the car up after is has been smashed beyond recognition! ACT NOW LIMITED to 50 entrants
Hungarian Special:
250 dollars for a moltov koktail....that is the finisher
Smash me up good.Ive had a long and painful life
FINISH ME
Weapons Price List:
Fists and Feet .50 Cent/hit
Thick Chain $2/Swing
Bat $4/Swing
Sledge $5/Swing
Ball and Chain $5/Swing
**Virgin Surfaces and Unbroken glass carry a 55% "IMPACT" surcharge
OR
BYOW (Bring your own weapon)
Price determined on site
FINISH ME
Weapons Price List:
Fists and Feet .50 Cent/hit
Thick Chain $2/Swing
Bat $4/Swing
Sledge $5/Swing
Ball and Chain $5/Swing
**Virgin Surfaces and Unbroken glass carry a 55% "IMPACT" surcharge
OR
BYOW (Bring your own weapon)
Price determined on site
How many times have you seen a Malibu cruising the highway and thought, Damn! Wish I was driving that bitch!
Now you can do the next best thing. Smash that bitch the fuck up!
For the price you would pay to watch some monster truck driver crush a malibu in mere moments, YOU could be delivering the FATAL BLOWS IN REAL TIME!.
And all while cramming way too many hot dogs into your gullet!
Most of your favorite condiments (Mustard NOT AVAILABLE!) will be on hand for the ACTION!!
NEW ADDED BONUS: We have just received word that a representative from Guiness MAY BE IN ATTENDANCE!!!!
Other possible records including loudest windshield smash, most direct sledgehammer hood-shot, and longest Malibu burn! With so many GUINESS WORLD RECORDS up for grabs, you would be an absolute CHIMP to miss this GOLDEN opportunity!!!!!
Now you can do the next best thing. Smash that bitch the fuck up!
For the price you would pay to watch some monster truck driver crush a malibu in mere moments, YOU could be delivering the FATAL BLOWS IN REAL TIME!.
And all while cramming way too many hot dogs into your gullet!
Most of your favorite condiments (Mustard NOT AVAILABLE!) will be on hand for the ACTION!!
NEW ADDED BONUS: We have just received word that a representative from Guiness MAY BE IN ATTENDANCE!!!!
Other possible records including loudest windshield smash, most direct sledgehammer hood-shot, and longest Malibu burn! With so many GUINESS WORLD RECORDS up for grabs, you would be an absolute CHIMP to miss this GOLDEN opportunity!!!!!
All persons attempting to break the world record for most boiled dogs in a single mouth (21) will have a chance to prove their dog-chowing mettle!
THIS CAN BE YOU!
MUSTARD is NOT AVAILABLE!
FREE HOT DOGS FOR THE FIRST 100 CONTESTANTS!
Cultural Expedition to MUSTARD PLANTATION!
NO HOT DOGS allowed on Shuttle!
Violators will be PUT TO WORK!
SPECIAL Appearances by today's SIZZLING HOT HOLLYWOOD STARS!
Let Judge watch you undress
Get high with Pauly Shore
Watch MEDFIELD'S OWN Pete "Hurricane" McNeely fight a KANGAROO
NO HOLDS BARRED!
Discount Admission with valid Stop and Shop card!
Someone call the ASPCA!
Hurricane circa 1995
SPECIAL OFFER!
Hurricane McNeely available for photos with YOUR GIRLFRIEND
'I had a title shot Goddam It!' - Hurricane
Also featured... Vending Machines ON SITE!
Pepsi not necessarily 'ice cold'
The fun does not STOP
TITLE BOUT at 8PM give or take 10 minutes!
Ultimate Warrior vs. The UNDERTAKER!
Be the first to CHALLENGE THE CHAMP and get body slammed by the best
(photo does not represent current fitness level of the ultimate warrior)
(Undertaker not an actual undertaker)
Bootleg DVDs Direct to YOU!
Fast Eddie will be ONSITE with all your favorite titles...NO RETURNS
Special Appearance by Home Town Hero Mark "Marky Mark" Wahlberg Look-a-like
'I was a supporting character in SAW II!' - D.W.
We have MORE STARS than the Milky Way!
You may know them as "Hayden Fox" and the other two guys from the Golden Globe Nominated SMASH HIT sitcom Coach
Craig T. Nelson, Jerry Van Dyke and Bill FagerBakke LIVE IN THE FLESH!
over 100,000 combined frequent flyer miles!
Maliblast LLC is not responsible for injury, disease or incarceration resulting from the malibu smash, riots, Judge reinhold, kangaroo meat, or banging my sister and/or Pauly Shore. NO DWARVES allowed. Due to local zoning codes, we are prohibited from entertaining Dwarves with ot without flame throwers without disaster insurance, which we cannot afford. Apologies to all Dwarves and Dwarf lovers. Please join us on August 21, 2012 for Dwarf Jazz Fest! All Dwarves 50% off admission and July 4 sparkler surplus!!!"
